Satan's Directives for Christians
- Make sure you only post sweet, nice things on the internet, make people feel good all the time.
- Never tell anyone what they must do or be to go to Heaven.
- Tell everyone they are good enough as they are - no need for following those "laws" in the Bible.
- Never take a stand for anything or you will hurt other people's feelings.
- Don't dress modest because you may offend someone with your holier than thou attire.
- Make sure you fit in as much as possible with unbelievers or they will think you are weird and you will never reach them for Christ that way.
- Keep your friends after you are a Christian, continue to do the same activities with them and you will win them to God.
- Get on social media and rant and rave about how bad the left is.
- Talk bad about other Christians who are keeping God's commandments and call them Pharisees and mock them as legalists.
- Make sure the music you listen to is hip so you can reach others in sin.
- Don't worry about praying to God, just let your priest tell you what to do.
- Make sure you follow popular Christian bloggers because they have so many followers they can't be wrong.
- Pornography doesn't count as adultery.
- Expose your flesh with minimal clothing, you are not at fault if men lust after you.
- Watching sin on TV is not the same as doing it, so enjoy.
- Movies are just entertainment and have no effect on you or your children's minds.
- Spend your time fighting for statues, flags and political issues.
- Refuse to bake homosexuals a cake, that will teach them.
- Give your children access to the internet at all times, better yet, give them a phone with internet and make sure they have SnapChat.
- Ask non-Christians for advice for your life, marriage and raising your children.
- Wear the other gender's garments, it is acceptable now because everyone is doing it and God no longer views it as an abomination - trust me, He told me so.
- God made a mistake in your gender, so you get to pick or even be genderless.
- Marriage is whatever you want it to be, have at it or don't and with whoever you want.
- Prevent children at all costs and if one gets through, just have an abortion.
- Focus on success - career, houses, lands, cars, wealth, etc.
- Remember - you only need to say a prayer and you can toss your Bible away because there is nothing in there that you need to do - you're good to go.